Why all men should live underground. Period.

WARNING: The commentary in this post expresses views that stereotype both men and women for the purpose of making a point. Many girls like to hunt and lift weights, and many men like fashion and cooking, and I know that. Please don't hurt me. It just makes more sense this way.



I never really got into daytime tv series- not as a kid, and not now, really. Occasionally, though, I would catch an occasional sitcom. One day, 12 or 13-year-old Jenni was watching Boy Meets World; it was the episode where they're in Mr. Feeny's middle school class and they're talking about where they see themselves in the future. I don't remember a whole lot about it- something about Minkus saying he'd marry Topanga and Cory saying he'd never get married (ironic?)- but I do remember Topanga's response: She was wearing a toga and a crown of ivy, and she said that she envisioned a perfect feminist world in which women formed a cooperative socialist environment and all men were forced underground and used only for breeding purposes...or something like that.
She got a rowdy stage "candid laughter" from the make-believe audience. Admittedly, that doesn't say a whole lot about the joke since they strategically guffaw after every other sentence. All the same, it made an impression on me, even after all these years. So the other day in journalism class when Lindsey, Victoria, Bekah and I somehow got on the topic of how life would be without men, I proposed Topanga's solution, giving her all due credit. We were kidding around, of course, but it's something to think about.
What would the world be like without men? Cleaner? Probably not. I know plenty of messy girls...including myself. Smell better? Now there's a thought. But there is a flip-side: cologne. Girls, you know you love a moderate amount. Prettier? Maybe more color coordinated, but not all of us like that look. More peaceful? HAHA. I don't think so. Ever heard of a girl fight? Yeah. Those turn out worse than most locker room brawls. Smarter? ...We won't go there. I'm not even sure where I stand on that one. The point is most of the things I can think of get shot down. There is, however, one things I'm sure of: girls wouldn't care nearly so much about their appearance. In fact, we probably wouldn't care at all.
On the surface level, that sounds great, right? Well I disagree. Let's face it; we'd be pretty gross, ladies. A healthy degree of personal upkeep is how God intended for us to be- bathing, exercising, taking the time to dress up and look nice. Plus, we enjoy looking pretty, but even more than that, we enjoy looking pretty for boys. Seeing that look on their face when we open the door after working extra hard on our appearance. Hearing them say we look beautiful. We don't NEED those things, of course. We have our Heavenly Father's approval, and that's all that matters. But realistically, He made us to want to look beautiful, and guys complete that by appreciating our beauty. Besides that, guys bring a lot to the table that we would miss. Things like recklessness, brute strength, chivalry, and those surprisingly sensitive, insightful comments that make girls think twice about the things they thought they knew about guys.
So my verdict? My title becomes a misnomer. Guys can stay. I kinda like 'em, in all their rugged glory. Besides, we all know they could never survive without women. ;)